i've been meaning to write about the recent vacation i had with ema, dya and kei on the small island of pangkor but had to put the idea on hold because i've been busy helping my uncle with the officiating of his company. but hey! now i've the chance. so enjoy our little adventures on pangkor island and its surrounding places.

day: 1:

i woke up at 7am as the bus will depart from shah alam to manjung perak at 9 am. i packed some stuffs into my begs and brought ritter along for the holidays with my friends. a got out of college around 8am and met kei at the section2 bus station. he was wearing his plaid shirt which he bought from TS (or VTS. hahahhhaa.) and was wearing his red shades and his headphones. we talked and talked and were concerned about the girls being late (typical). it was 830am and we boarded the minibus to sect17's bus hub and waited for ema and dya there. the girls came 10 minutes later and when it was 9 am, we boarded the bus that was scheduled to depart for perak. we were all excited about the trip especially me since i've never gone to an island before for vacation. we laughed and laughed in the bus, made jokes as we went passed scenery after scenery. i told them about the date i had with sweetheart and talked about how sweetheart had thought my rm10 shirt to be rm100. and i was like telling them how happy i was. and then kei remarked,

"klo u happy u kene bwat macam tu eiyh?''

*he put his two hands up and made into a chicken-wing kinda style and started turning his body left and right and exclaiming "oh yeaaaahhhh...."*

the girls and i can't stop laughing. i had tears in my eyes and my stomach ached with pain because i laughed too much. i think the girls felt that way too. kei also remarked how dya's head moves like a fly when she's observing something.

"kepale u mmg bergerak macam tu eiyh?"

*moves head mechanically like a fly"

kei made us laughed hard, again.

we reached manjung at around 330pm and dya's dad picked us up at the bus stop. i was pretty nervous of meeting dya's parents as she had told us, in such a way, that her parents were religiously strict or strict or something. we entered the black camry (or was it vios or city. x ingat) and the radio played something very islamic (about a hadith or something) and kei and i looked at each other and had to suppressed our smiles. so we reached dya's home and it was a lovely home. clean, well-arranged and greeting us at the door was a cheery lady with a huge and bright smile (and a loud voice too) and instantly, when i looked at her, she reminded me of dya. she was really friendly and warm and we instantly connected well with her, dya's mum. and she prepared this really wonderful meal. since we were all hungry, we all ate like savages and was instantly satisfied when we were full. we were told that it was best for us to take a rest at dya's home and proceed to pangkor the next day. we all agreed and because we were tired, kei and i slept after the late lunch.

that night, dya's dad drove us into manjung town (small, quaint, cute) and we were walking through the waterfront when rain began to fall. we seeked shelter from the rain and walked under the roofed area of the shop lots. from one of those shops, i bought a cute brown fedora with a red stripe around it for rm13. as usual, our outing would not be complete if we did not cam-whore. so we did. we had a "roti tisu" and drinks at a local "mamak" shop and dya's dad came to pick us up and brought us back home.

we decided to have a late night and they all decided to watch ju-on2 and i stayed up and watched as well. it was funny to see dya and ema getting frightened of the ghost and halfway through the movie, dya slept and towards the end, ema slept. when the movie was done, kei woke dya up and then dya began to act in a strange way (mengigau) and it was funny! kei and i could not stop laughing (i'm smiling as i am writing this) as it was really funny. she was. FUNNY. lol!!!!!!!!!! i couldn't describe to you how funny she was. oh my oh my. finally, we all slept (after dya and ema became conscious) and waited for the sun to come up.


-to be continued-

i'm writing about... 3 months.

three months. three months. three months.

<3>

i've never been with anyone this long before. it's quite a feat for me actually. hahaha.

3 months 3 months 3 months.

we've been through a lot but hey, it's been 3 months. i'm sure we could go through more hell and still come back out safe and sound.

i'm still glad i took the chance 3 months ago.

i still think the act of me browsing through the social networking site and adding you as a friend and contacting you afterwards was a crazy and utterly desperate-looking-for-a-partner thing to do but, i still feel it was one of those things where you feel like it's weird and crazy, but it is so right. you were not that good looking (based on your picture) but there was something very, mysterious and interesting about you. i was attracted to you for some reason.

i'm mumbling. hahaha.

the point is,

well. i have no point actually. lol

but what i'm sure is, i love having you in my life right now. and i enjoy every form of contact we make. though we're far a part for now, i'm glad you are still close to my heart. i smile when you text me, laugh when i hear you laugh; my tummy churns when we want to meet up for a date.

after 3 months,

i still feel the same way.

you're as addictive as a catchy song,
you're as smooth as a dancer, dancing on thin ice.
you're as bright and warm as the sun,
and glow in my life like the stars and the moon against a dark and lifeless sky.

you're as important to me as my family,
i need you like the air i breathe and the food and drink i consume.

you drive me utterly crazy with your sexyyy smile and cute laugh.

my head is in the sky and without me knowing, a wide smile appears on my face, and a silent chuckle escapes from me when i think about you.

you're as cool as the rain, pouring down on my warm skin.
you light up my life like electric fireflies lighting up the forests.

enchanting and charming,

that's what you are.

i love you.

happy 3 months sweetheart. may there be more to celebrate in these coming days.

sayang you. = )



so baby don't worry
you are my only
you won't be lonely
even if the sky is falling down
you'll be my only
no need to worry.

~down,
jay sean~

i'm writing about.. doing better.. = )

all i needed was a phone call. a reassurance and a much needed rest. i love u. thanks for making my day. i love u. i really do.

and sorry about the last post. i was being emo, pissed and tired and stressed.

= D

i'm writing about... simplicity..

i waited for your call. i waited and waited till i can't wait no more. i dozed off after i sent u a good night. your text came after i had sent mine. u said u were driving and that u'd text me when u got back home. but i couldn't wait. i was too tired. so, i dozed off. u called me twice and sent me a text:

"at least pick up the phone. please."

the 3rd time u called, u got through because i picked up the phone. u asked me whether i was fine, and i lazily answered yes. u mumbled a few other things from the other end but i couldn't decipher them. i told u that i was tired and i wanted to sleep. so we said our goodbyes and i said a half-hearted 'i love u'.

my uncle woke me up early morning the next day. though i was tired, i still got up. i checked my phone, no text from u till around 914am. we texted a little bit. u asked me why i was awake so early and i told u my reasons and u asked why did my uncle woke me up and i replied because he wanted me to do some work at the office. u told me u woke up late because for some reason that u don't know, u can't sleep the night before. u said that u were going to get ready for class. the next text i got from u was at 1036am. it said that u had arrived to class. and i didn't reply. i was too freakin annoyed, disappointed and sad.

i guess u could sense that from the short replies i gave u, that u would have guessed that something was bothering me and upsetting me. what i waited from u was this simple question:

"sayang, are u ok? is there something wrong/ u wanna tell me?"

that question didn't popped up. no, it didn't. i waited and waited and it didn't come. i waited the whole night for u to text me, to call me. and u did, when it was too late. when i was too damn tired to answer calls and questions.

u were busy, fine. but at least tell me u were sending your friends to their respective homes. don't let me text u first then, u inform me. if i hadn't text u first, u probably won't know that i was waiting for u since u were busy and all and i didn't want to bother u. but alas, i gave up and i sent u a text:

"i guess ur busy. nights then."

just after that u had the courtesy to tell me that u were driving home. and after u called me at 1220am, then u texted me:

"sorry sayang. i got out early but i had to drop off my friends at their homes."

why hadn't u told me earlier. then i wouldn't have waited. i could've just told u:

"oh ok. take ur time. i'll be asleep for awhile. call me once ur done. = )''

did u receive that text from me? no! u didn't because u didn't have the bloody courtesy to tell me that u were busy. so i slept and after i had fell soundly asleep, u called me. and by that time, my mood of looking forward to your call and telling u how sucky my day was had disappeared and i just wanted to sleep.

i wanted to tell u what a bad day i had, and u weren't there. when i needed u the most, when i needed cheering up from u, u weren't there. someone else made my day, my sister did. she made me laugh and lifted some of the burden off of my shoulders. thanks to her, she made my day.

so the next day, i decided to give u chance. but u blindly let it slipped away too.

i'm sorry if you're hurt after reading this post but i just gotta let everything out of the system because i don't know where else to turn to.

i just wanna tell u, by doing something small, could have big impact, make a huge difference and would have cheered my day. but i guess, u weren't aware.

i'm sad. and i want to cry.

='(

i'm writing about.. 19..

i woke up with a huge smile on my face. i turned on my phone. 11 messages. i smiled again. i opened the texts one by one, reading and replying them and saying my deepest gratitude and honest thanks. it's not everyday u get people to wish u "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" right?

but, those messages wasn't the only one which made me smile. i was gonna see sweetheart for my birthday. just the thought alone left me tingling in the tummy. so i got up, headed for the showers while my roomies were still asleep. it was 930a.m. i had some bits of flour and 'kaya' still stuck to my hair and that took me a good 15 minutes in the shower. let me tell u what got those flour and 'kaya' onto my head and also my body.

it was midnight and whoop-dee-doo by popular beliefs, i had turned 19. so i was milling about in my room, packing my stuffs to be transfered to my rental house when i received a text from sai saying:

"hey a.j. u kat ne? jom la lepak kat stage."

since i was bored, and i had nothing better to do, and since it was already the day of my birthday, i put on my clothes and went to the stage. it was a cold and chilly night and there were a few stars in the sky and on the stage, seating on the sofa were kei, sai, fie, fahrel, and taufiq. taufiq was sitting behind the sofa and once i got up on the stage to join them i had this funny feeling in the pit of my tummy. i ignored it anyways.

once i got there, kei started rambling about this cute and hot couple he saw at kfc and what not. and in that instance, i knew, kei was lying and that they were all there with a purpose. i was listening and smiling to what kei was saying when i think it was fie who, got up from his seat and poured a canned drink all over me, and he said:

"happy birthday a.j"and then, chaos ensued. soon i was covered with flour and 'kaya' (courtesy of kei) and we were all laughing and i was screaming my head off and so were they. joining the band-wagon later was diddy, zu and aziem. we were having so much fub but then, we stopped because there was this one guy who shouted from his bedroom window (and he sounded like he was gonna burst out crying) that he wanted to study because he was having his exams. we all laughed and 'bersurai' after that. i couldn't stop smiling after that.

i got out of the shower and put on some normal clothes because acad said he was already on his way to pick me up and help me to move my stuffs into my rental home. 10 minutes later, he arrived and i was putting my stuffs into his car and i noticed that he was kinda not in a good mood. i asked him if he was o.k and he said he was fine. we got in the car and drove off. i was talking to him about the event that happened a few hours ago and realized that o had forgotten about the house keys.

"oh my god! my house keys!"

"so camner. nak drive back and ambik?"

"ye la. klo xder kunci camne nak masuk rumah!"

acad just smiled and he drove back to meranti. after that, we got to my house and spent 15 minutes outside the door trying to figure out how to open the grill. he laughed as he saw me struggling with the grill. i like to see acad laugh and smile. at least i know that he was not moody and cranky anymore. (lol). finally, with the advice i had gotten from my friend, we managed to get the grill and the door open. once we got inside, we surveyed the house. it was my first time being in it. and i thought it was cute and charming. we moved my stuffs into my room. and then he commented:

"i think this house is too small for 10 people. how many people are u gonna share ur room with? 3?! oh my! i think it's too small."

he had a point though, it was small. but i like it. and what we both love about the house was the fact that it has this really cute kitchen counter. acad liked it too. and he is jealous. (lol). he drove me back to meranti and he wished me a "happy birthday."

i was in front of my room when i saw kei coming out of his room. he said:

"get ready. dya and ema are on their way to pick us up to take us out for lunch."

i was uber excited! i took my bath (again) and got dressed and 10 minutes later, kei, ema, dya and i were in a little "kancil" on our merry way to "kedai kopi" at tasek shah alam. luckily, we got to that place safely because ema was a really horrible driver. kei and i were screaming our heads off and laughing at the same time. we reached the "kedai kopi" a little after one and ordered the food. i was really hungry and so were they. we talked and laughed and talked and laughed and discussed about our trip to pangkor. and laughed again.

after lunch, dya took over as the driver (thank goodness!) and she drove me to the ktm station. i waited and waited for the train and my tummy was doing jumps. i can't help but smile as i carried a little gift in my hand for sweetheart. the train arrived and i board it and headed for k.l central.

after reaching the station, i ran up the stairs (no kidding) and swiped my touch and ago and ran up s'more stairs and outside the station i saw sweetheart's car. i smiled. a really huge smile. i got into the car, i was out of breath and i kissed sweetheart on the cheeks. and i headed sweetheart's gift to sweetheart. sweetheart was happy and didn't expect to get a gift from me. sweetheart asked if i wanted my birthday present right there and then. i said:

"no. let's wait till the end of the day k?"

"oh. all right. u sure?"

"yeah. very."

sweetheart told me that we were heading for O.U to catch the movie. i smiled and said cool. we talked and talked and laughed while my hand was itching to hold sweetheart's. but i just kept my hand on my lap and looking outside while i waited for sweetheart to hold my hand. and wanna know? sweetheart took my hand and we held hands till we reached O.U.

the movie begun at 445p.m and before that, we had some snacks because sweetheart was hungry. sweetheart bought some sausage buns and an egg tart while i bought myself sushi.

during the movie, i was concentrating while i told sweetheart about what happened based on the book. we were not holding hands but halfway through the movie, we slipped our hands under the arm rest and held hands. that made my day.

after the movie, we went for dinner at the curve. a thai restaurant. we talked about family and laughed and laughed. i like seeing sweetheart smile and laugh. at least i know, sweetheart is happy to have me. and i am happy too to have sweetheart.

after dinner, sweetheart sent me to central. we had to go back early because sweetheart had to go to the British Council's office while i had to get up early to go to pangkor. we hung out in sweetheart's car.

"oh. your present!" *turns back and took present hidden under black jacket* (no wonder i didn't see any boxes on the seat. lol!)

"oh my. i like the box!" (it was a shoe box and the cover was wrapped with pictures of models from a magazine. oh, it was british indie kinda fashion which i love.).

"i made it myself."

"oh wow. u did?"

"yeaps2"

i was impressed. (lol)

i opened the box slowly and my heart was beating fast. i opened the ribbon (yes,a green ribbon) and inside the box were 4 items; a shirt that sweetheart bought from s'pore, a book that sweetheart wanted me to share with, a ck perfume and a teddy that we named ritter.

"oh my. this is, wow. i don't know what to say sweetheart. oh wow. thank u, thank u. i love you!"

"you like it?"

"like? i LOVE it sweetheart! this is the first time i've ever received a perfume for my birthday. oh my. i cannot. and to compare with mine.''

"hey hey. don't say that. ur gift is lovely too. thank u sayang." (a book and a bookmark. erkh. i feel lame.)

" i don't deserve this. oh my."

"hey. don't say that sayang. it's ur birthday. i love u."

"i love u too."

we kissed and it was the best kiss i've ever had.

p.s: i got back and told dydy what i had gotten for my birthday. as i was holding ritter, dydy realized there was a small pocket and inside the pocket lies a paper. he handed me ritter and i took the paper out of the pocket. the colour of the paper was purple and it was cut into a shape of a heart.

"I LOVE BEING LOVED BY YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

and i smiled and jumped up and down like a crazy person in dydy's room.

i'm writing about.. the first time...

it was a beautiful sunday morning and i woke up with the sun shining itself upon me. my alarm went off and with a smile on my face, i woke up and headed straight to the showers.

i knew we just met through a social networking site and we just talked the night before, but there's something very intriguing about u that attracted me. there's something magically magnetic about your voice through the phone and i felt compelled to meet u in person.

truth be told, i've never met anyone through a social networking site before. u were my first.

i got dressed. i picked out a new shirt. a blue one with my skinnies and i picked my blue shoes instead of my flops. i locked the door behind me and walked to the bus station to wait for the bus.

if i had the choice, i wouldn't wanna travel that far. but i wanted to meet u. i really did.

the bus stopped at central and i took the train to mid.

by the time i had arrived, my heart can't stop beating. i couldn't stop smiling and my legs were shaking. but i kept my cool. songs were being played through the earphones and that kept me calm.

i went to the top most floor of the place. it was kinda crowded. i texted u asking what shirt u were wearing and u replied, "a black one".

so i began sifting through the crowd, looking for a person with the black shirt and a long hair. i walked further along till i reach the cinema.

and there u were. u were looking down at the crowd of people going down the escalator. at this point in my life, i've never felt more scared, more nervous, more excited. i wanted to turn back and run, but i came all the way. why waste the chance?

so i walked closer to u and i said, "hey"

u turned and looked at me, and u smiled. oh God u smiled. i could have sworn my heart had stopped beating when i first saw u smile. u answered, "hey" too. i didn't know what to do after that. a hug, a kiss? i settled for a hand shake. lame, yes, i know.

and then i asked, "what movie do u wanna watch?"

u said, "up to u. anything is fine by me." u answered, with that yummy sexy smile appearing on your face.

so i picked, i love you beth cooper.

so we went into the cinema. we sat next to each other. then all the lights in the cinema were turned off and the movie started. it was cold. i don't like cold. my hands were freezing. i couldn't concentrate on the movie because i kept looking at u. the movie was kinda boring anyways and u were more interesting to look at. i reached out for your hand and though i was nervous, i held yours in mine. and u returned the favour.

yes, that was the first time i held someone's hand in a cinema.

we smiled at each other while the movie kept playing. i put my head on yours when i watched beth cooper kissing the geek who was in love with her. then, the movie ended. and we went out. it was almost 5 p.m.

i asked u if u were gonna head straight back home. u answered that u were not sure yet. i told u that since it was already 5, i couldn't reach shah alam in time. and so i wanted to break my fast with u. u agreed. and u asked me where. i answered somewhere but mid. then u told me, let's go to bangsar. i said yes.

we got to your car. and throughout the journey to bangsar, we held hands. i love it when your hand is in mine.

we reached bangsar and we went to the mall to waste our time before breaking our fast. there was one question that i asked u,

"if i was a total stranger and u were walking in a mall and u happened to see me. would u find me attractive?"

"yeah totally. i would turn my head to look at u."

i blushed at the answer.

"would u do the same if u happened to see me at a mall?"

"yeah. without second thoughts."

i hope u still feel the same way.

we walked through shops while getting to know each other. the sexiest thing i found out about u is that u read books that i read and u don't smoke. and u have a sense of humor too.

so we went to this kopitiam called CAWAN to break our fast. and i was kinda embarrassed to eat loads. so i ate little. so did u.

then, after dinner, u sent me back to central. we hung out in your car. i didn't wanna leave without kissing u. so i lean towards u. u were leaning towards me too. and our lips touched. and everything else around me became, nothing. there was only u. only u alone.


that was how it all started. that was how i met sweetheart. that was how sweetheart stole me heart and still keeps it. i didn't know why i was so, compelled to meet u. but i'm glad i did. i really am glad. because if i hadn't taken that leap of faith, i would've regretted it. but i'm glad i did.

i love u sweetheart. = )


the thing about love, is i never saw it coming.
it kinda crept up,
and took me by
surprise.

say it again for me,
coz i love the way it feels when u are telling me that i'm,
the only one who crossed ur mind.
say it again for me,
it's like the whole world starts to listen when u tell me you're in love.

~say it again,
marie digby~

i'm writing about... crazy little thing called love.

it's funny how much i love u.
it's funny how much u love but i don't really love u as much.
it's funny how much u used to love me, but now i'm not sure whether u still harbor the same feelings for me.
it's funny how i used to love u so much but u did not really care.
it's funny that i don't know if i am in love with u or it's just an infactuation.

they say love is a funny and crazy thing.

i used to not believe it.

but now i that i have experienced it myself, yeah.

love is indeed funny and crazy.

it turns your world around.
make it go upside down.
make it flip.
make it shake.
make it. erkh. whatever.

i used to not believe in love.
i guarded myself from it.
but now, i've left myself exposed to this powerful force.

and i am loving every minute of it.